Not every Christmas is a bad Christmas
by CatchingStar
Summary: The title says everything.


**Disclaimers: **csi does NOT belong to me, otherwise it would be a lot more of romance in the show.

I wanted to write a Christmas fic for some time now and finally I was able to finish. Sorry about the english mistakes and hope you guys liked. ;)

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Sara look to her outfit one last time before deciding it's was perfect. 'Only if I was someone else completely different' she thought with herself. Picking the two gifts from her bed and her purse, she walked out of the apartment.

Usually at this time of the year Sara was happily working at the Las Vegas crime lab. Her parents had taught that only people who enjoyed their life and family celebrate Christmas and it wasn't their case so during her entire childhood Sara spend the twenty-four and five in her bedroom, reading some book and pretending not to care. At the university, while her friends went to see her families, she stayed at the campus studying whatever she wanted and now as a csi, well, she worked. Most people don't like to be at the lab so she volunteered to do it. This year, however, Grissom surprised her by saying that he didn't want to see her at the lab, not even in the twenty fifth.

'No work in the field for three weeks' would be the consequence if she showed up at the lab and Sara hated paperwork with all her guts so she had no choice but agreed. Without the work she decided to spend the night alone in her apartment with a lot of beers but again the plans went down the river because of Catherine who insisted she went to her Christmas party.

Getting out of the car, Sara took a few minutes watching the house. The outside was full with golden garland and yellow lights - they would probable have used snow if Las Vegas weather wasn't so hot. At the door, a big Santa Claus with her lady smiling to the visitors, how cute. Turning back to the car, she put one of the gifts on her purse and held the other one in hand. She had bought a gift for Catherine years ago but she didn't have the courage to give to the blond. They weren't exactly friend, were they? But Catherine had some sort of feeling – a good one - toward the young csi otherwise she wouldn't have invited her to a important holiday.

Sara was almost knocking when the door suddenly open revealing Catherine's miniature.

"Oh hey Sara, I'm so happy you came." The girl said hugging Sara.

"Me too Lindsey. You are very pretty"

"Thanks. Come on in" Sara did just that "Did you like the decoration? Mom said it was too much stuff but I talk to her without argue like you told me and in the end she agreed"

"No argue hum? Well, than I think it's even more beautiful"

"yeah, right" Lindsey laughed.

Sara offered her help to the little girl after her father died. At first it was because Sara felt guilty for not giving the enclosure both her and Catherine need it but than she started enjoying so much their talking through the computer that they never stop. Lindsey was a smart kid and very funny too and every time she could, Sara tried to help Lindsey to not fight with her mother. She knows how that hurts the older Willows.

"Could you put this package under the tree for me?"

"Ok, but it's mine right?" Sara's didn't answer right away trying to make some mystery and nod. "Look mom Sara brought me a gift. Isn't she so cool?" Lindsey screamed before running and put under the tree.

"Yes she is sweetie" the older woman said. Looking at her new visitor Catherine had a hard time to not droll over Sara wearing a white dress. It was the first time she put some that wasn't a jeans and a t-shirt and if Catherine were honest she would say Sara is fabulous. Sara felt the intensive staring and blushed. "I'm glad you are here Sara but you didn't have to do buy anything"

"I wanted to"

"Thank you. Would you like something to drink?"

"Whatever you are drinking, please" Catherine smiled and walked away to grab the white wine.

Nancy and Jeremy, Catherine's sister and niece were the next to arrives, followed by Nick and Warrick. Sara was actually surprised at seeing them at the house, she thought Nick would spend the night with his big family at some beach house and Warrick with his girlfriend but apparently she had other plans. Grissom and Brass were already there, just like Greg who never missed the blond parties.

"Do you need help with the food?" Sara asked entering the kitchen.

"Do you know how to cook?" asked Catherine. If it wasn't the little smirk on her face Sara would have being hurt with the question. Sara looks away and blushes - Catherine always knows how to get into her. Always! Catherine laughs at the brunette reaction and Sara can't help but smile at the sound and site.

"I'm not very good but I can help you with the table, if you want"

"I'd appreciate that." Catherine answered with a huge grim.

The food was delicious and everyone seems to be enjoying the party. Warrick was discussing something really funny because Catherine and Nancy didn't stop laughing; Nick Grissom and brass were talking bout baseball while Greg played some game with the kids. Lindsey had proposed Sara to play too but the younger csi prefer just watch.

Sara filled her glass with wine and decided to look at the starts. The small wind makes her shiver and close one arm in front of her body. She was trying not to feel sad or jealous but it was getting harder and harder to suppress those feelings. Her parents were to busy drinking or beating the crap on her for being born and she never won a look of proud that she sees every time Catherine looks at Lindsey. She missed that! And her friends, they don't really know her. She knows about every single one, past and present, but they don't know about her. Part of her blame herself for that, for being afraid to let people in and the other part always thought they could have tried harder if they actually wanted to know the truth.

She didn't even realize she was crying until feel a hand on her arms.

"No one should be sad at Christmas night" Lindsey said.

"You are right, I'm sorry."

"Did someone hurt you today? Because if they did I can ask for the person to ask sorry"

"No sweetie" Sara answered laughing. "I was just thinking about some stuff..."

"Your family?"

"That too" she said touching the little girls blond hair.

"Would you like to be with them tonight?"

"Not in a million years!" Lindsey smile big. "But even if I wanted it would be actually impossible. My dad died when I was 13 and my mom passed away last year."

"I'm really sorry Sara" the little girl said hugging the brunette legs. "What about your brother? You told me he lives in New York"

"He has his own family and we are not that close anymore" Lindsey nod understanding. "I'm sorry; you shouldn't be listening to this stuff"

"It's ok. My mom says that sometimes is good to talk about bad things because… because…"

"We can put them aside and enjoy the good things even more." Catherine voice echoed behind them. Sara turned her head and looked at Catherine's intense blue eyes. Feeling the new waves of tears emerging behind her eyes, Sara looked away. "Why don't you go inside and eat some ice cream before we start to open the presents, sweetie? It's almost midnight"

'Ok"

"How much did you heard?" came Sara's voice in a whisper after awhile.

"Most of it. Why didn't you tell us Sara? We would have being there for you at the time and the funeral"

"I didn't go to the funeral myself" Sara answered looking down. "Besides there is no reason to bother you guys with something like that"

"You could never bother us by sharing your life Sara. Never. In fact, we would love if you share thing with us instead of pushing us away" Catherine answered touching Sara's hair. This time, to both surprises, Sara didn't show any resistance to the touch. She actually needed that. "No one came to this world to be alone Sara so stop trying to be one"

"I don't want to be alone. I just think there are people who deserve better"

"I see, than tell me something: who deserve to be your friend? Your lover?" the question surprised Sara and she opened her mouth a few times to answer but no words came. "I want be one Sara. I really do"

"A friend or a lover?"

"Is that a real question?" Catherine asked looking for Sara's face, but the young woman continued looking to the ground, feeling very embarrassed. She shouldn't have said at loud. "I want both" Catherine whispered at the brunette's ear. Sara felt a shiver run through her spine and shut her eyes. That couldn't be happening. Not with her. Catherine couldn't be serious. When she opened them again, Catherine was still besides her, smiling. "If it's ok with you, I would like to talk to you after they leave"

Ok was the only answered Sara could give her. Catherine smiled and went inside again. Sara stood a few minutes looking to where the blond went feeling the luckiest person in the world.

"Apparently not every Christmas is a bad Christmas!" she told to herself.

Leaning at the door frame she watched as Lindsey and Jeremy distribute the gift to every person in the room.

"This is for you" Lindsey said extending a package to Sara.

"To me?"

"It's for me and mom"

"Lindsey! She should guess remember?" pointed Catherine. The little girl put both hands in her mouth causing everyone to laugh.

"Thank you girls but you didn't have to do this"

"At the first time you spend Christmas with us? Not in a million years" Catherine said with a smile. Sara blushed.

"If you need some hand to open up I'm sure we can help!" said Greg. Sara shot him a dead and continued to open slowly. She had won a gift!

"How did you know?" she asks.

"I heard you talking to Nick about it"

Sara smiled big an open the book she was trying to buy for months on the internet. So Catherine does pay attention to her than. There was an envelope inside with a draw from Lindsey and two dedications, one from it Willows - one more beautiful than the other. She had to try really hard not to cry in front of everyone.

The exchange of gifts continue for more fifteen minutes until there were no more.

After the little conversation outside Sara got more comfortable and was smiling more and talking to Nancy. She was very sweet and funny, just like her sister and looking at the two you don't guess that Nancy is younger than Catherine. She has the same size, blue eyes, white skin, thin lips… the only visual thing that is not equal is the hair, brown instead of natural blond.

"Come on sweetie, its time to bed."

"But I don't wanna go" the little said with a long face. "I'm having fun"

"I know you are, but your white face tells me you are exhausted as well. And your aunt is already taking Jeremy home"

"But they will not be here tomorrow, not even Sara."

"And who said she won't?" Catherine asked looking from her daughter to Sara who was watching them. Lindsey eyes and mouth open in sock and she look to both adults. After what it feels like an eternity a big smile appeared at the girls face and Sara sign in relief. "Now, say good night to everyone and let's go"

"Okay, but you don't have to take me to bed I'm not five"

"Yeah, and I miss that"

"Mom!" Lindsey said serious. Catherine laughed and signed for Lindsey to hurry up

"She is such a sweet kid Catherine" Sara says getting closer "You are doing a great job at raising her"

"Thanks. Sometimes I think I could do more for her you know? Be around more, talk more... She is growing do fast and I…"

"You do everything you can as a single mother, Cat. Don't be so hard with yourself" Sara says raising the blonds jaw in the end. They share a good and caring look before Sara continued "Besides I think Lindsey already has the two most important things for a kid, something everyone deserves but not everyone has luck to have it - a safe place to live and your unconditional love"

Catherine smiled from ear to ear and surprises the brunette by hugging her. Sara touched Catherine hair and sign. It wasn't her idea to get emotional again!

"Is everything ok?" Warrick asked getting closer.

"Yeah, it's… great"

"Than why are you crying?" he says pulling Catherine closer to his body and away from the brunette. Sara stared at him and moved her head in disbelief.

"I guess Christmas time leave people more sensitive" the blond answer wiping a tear away.

"You sure?" they walk back to the living room and sit comfortable on the couch.

The guys stood for more half and hour and Warrick didn't leave Catherine side for one second. Sara was trying to have a conversation with Nick but not succeeding. She was beyond pissed. How could he think she would hurt Catherine? Catherine of all people! Her love!

"You sure you don't want us to help you cleaning? It won't be a problem" he asked already at the door.

"I'm positive. Sara will help me out" Catherine said. "Thanks for coming guys and Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas" Nick and Greg said in union. Catherine kissed Warrick on the cheek and when he left, she closed the door leaning against it.

"Jeez, I though they wouldn't never leave" Sara nodded and started to leave the glasses and plates to the kitchen. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine"

"Sara… I would really like if we were honest to each other for now on… both of us"

"He though I had hurt you back there and the reason why he wanted to stay was so he could protect you from me" Sara said, her anger becoming more vivid at each word.

"What?" Catherine asked socked.

"I prefer die instead of hurting you." She continues turning away from the blond and holding herself on the sink. She didn't want to lose her temper for something so silly like that.

"Sara, listen to me, he is a jerk for thinking that about you" Catherine says putting a hand of Sara shoulder. Sara tensed but soon relaxed knowing that was a caring gesture. "I'm going to talk to him"

"No, please, don't. I will calm down in a minute and everything will be ok, trust me"

"I trust you. I'm sorry if I showed otherwise" Sara nodded and cup Catherine face.

"God, you are so beautiful" she says without helping herself. "I want…" before she could say the word, Catherine close the distance between their lips. She plays with one lip than the other when Sara doesn't show resistance (as if she ever would) before asking for more. The blond closes her arms behind Sara's neck and moan as their tongues first touch each other.

The kiss is slowly and deep, neither one of them wanting to ruin the moment with anxious. Sara pressed her lips against the blond hard before stopping. Catherine had her eyes close for a moment and Sara heart melted.

"Hi" she says with a smile.

"Hi"

"You have no idea how many times I wanted to do this"

"Oh yeah, tell me, sense when?"

"Since I came to Vegas" Sara said holding the blond by her hips.

"You mean sense you walk in the room and I try to push you away not even wanting to know who you actually were?"

"It was a bit harsh of you but a completely turn on for me" the brunette answered leaning for a quick kiss.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"How could I when you only date men and flirt with Warrick all the time?"

"I don't flirt with Warrick!"

"Yeah, right, anyway, even if I knew you were into girls, there was another thing… how could I know you like me when you always find a way to scream at me and make me feel less good at what I do?" The blond looked away, feeling sad about it. "Why did you do it, Cat? Why couldn't we be friends before?" Sara voice came in a whisper.

"First, because you were so young, beautiful, and brilliant - extremely brilliant - and I was not. Than everyone liked you in a matter of seconds, even Warrick, when I had worked so hard to win their trust. I though they would stop being my friends to be yours"

Apparently Catherine isn't as sure of herself as Sara always thought which made Sara feel even happier because that way she can show how much Catherine is special, beautiful and precious.

"And than when I realize I wanted you as more than a co-worker you and Grissom were… well, you wanted…"

"I told you guys a thousand times that I didn't - and still don't want a romantic relationship with Grissom. What we have is a strong friendship because he was there for me in a moment when no one else was. I like him and trust him completely but I never wanted him that way. It has always been you and you alone" Sara says whispering the last part above Catherine lips kissing her quickly in the end. Catherine closes her arms again around Sara's neck and rest the head in the brunette's shoulder.

"I'm so glad we sort this thing out. I was getting tired of fighting and being away from you"

"Me too Cat. Me too. Oh, I almost forgot, there is something I brought for you"

"Yeah, what is it?" the brunette grabbed the blond hand and they went back to the living room. Sara opened the purse and picked the small present.

"I saw this when I was having lunch one day and I though about you but I never find the right moment to give to you and well, I think it's the right time now. Merry Christmas"

"Thank you Sara. But why didn't you give to me when we were exchanging gifts?"

"I didn't want the guys to get jealous because I just brought one for you. Well, I brought to Lindsey too but she is a kid so is understandable"

"That's really it or…"

"And I didn't want them to see me blush when you opened" Catherine left eyebrow when up and a smile appeared. She walks toward the couch and sits. Sara sits closer to her, her hands starting to sweat.

Taking the paper away Catherine found a blue velvet box which of course indicates it was a jewel but she didn't expect to see that - A real gold necklace, with a heart in the middle where it was six tiny little diamonds and dangling a small heart as well. Catherine jam open and she looked from the necklace to Sara back to the necklace.

"Sara this is too much I can't…"

"Yes you can! And if you care about me Catherine, please accept it. There is no other person I want to give this" She open her mouth to speak but Sara stop her "Besides, I can always work harder"

"You already work too harder Sara" Catherine says wiping a tear that escape from her eyes "If you keep working like that your body won't handle and I sure don't want to lose you, not now when I finally have you"

"You won't lose me" the brunette said wiping the next one who ran. "And you can check my bank account if you want ok?"

"I definitively will" she said laughing before looking back to the box. Sara took the necklace out of the box and locked at the blonds' neck. Catherine looked down and squeezed the big heart. "It's beautiful Sara. Thank you."

"No more than you are" the brunette whispered.

"If you don't stop saying those amazing things I'll not stop crying and I hate crying!" Catherine said half crying, half laughing. Sara laughs as well. Catherine sits in front again and plan a kiss at the forehead, the noise and finally at the brunette red lips making Sara smile.

"I better get going and sleep before lunch tomorrow, or better yet, today"

"Stay please. I promised Lindsey you would be here in the morning and I would feel better if you didn't drive back home, please"

"Is that the real reason Catherine or are you trying to get me into your bed?" Catherine cheeks blushed hard and that was enough for Sara to understand. "Look, if you want me to stay I will but I prefer use the spare room"

"What?" she asked not angry but clearly disappointed. "Why?"

"I had too many emotions from one day and I really like to take you out for a date first. With everything you deserve before we go any further. I want do this right"

"Ok. I'll get the room ready for you" Sara stops the blond from get up.

"Are you not mad at me, are you?"

"No"

"Are you telling me the true?"

"Yes" Catherine said kissing the brunette. "I would really like a first date" Sara stared at the blond face and eyes trying to see the truth, when she found it, she got up from the couch. "I think you'll need some clothes too, I'll be right back" said Catherine in front of the spare room. "Ok. The bathroom is the next door at left; you can use anything you want"

"Hey Cat, can I… have one last kiss?" Catherine smile from ear to ear and coop the brunette faces before connect their lips. Sara tries to deepen the kiss but Catherine stops her.

"Goodnight Sara"

"Goodnight Cat, sweet dreams"

Sara switched positions about ten times before decide there was no way she would manage to sleep. Not when her mind keep seeing Catherine's hurt face when she sad no to sharing a bed. She wanted to sleep with Catherine. She needed to be with Catherine. But at the same time it was too soon for that wasn't it, after all, they had found out everything tonight.

She left the guest room to go to the kitchen and have some water but stopped when saw Catherine's door half open. Without being able to stop herself, Sara tiptoe to the door and opened just a little bit to take a closer look. The blond was lying on her stomach, one arm under the pillow and the sheets only half away her back. Sara hated being so scare about her own desires or in this case about Catherine. If she wasn't scared she would be lying beside her right now, feeling great.

"I should have never said no to you. I'm sorry"

Closing the door again she missed Catherine movements. She was having the same trouble to sleep. After grabbed the water, Sara took a sit at the couch and turned the TV on. She searched from something, anything that could help the sleep to come.

"Hey" Sara jump at the unexpected voice and look behind the couch. "Sorry. Didn't meant to scare you" Catherine said blushing. Sara nodded with a smile "What are you watching?"

"Discovery channel" Sara said. "Something about baby pandas" Catherine nods and sits closer to Sara resting her head in the back of the couch. They stood there for awhile until Sara decided to break the uncomfortable silence. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"My mind keeps working".

"Mine too"

"Working with what?" Catherine looked down and then to Sara as if asking 'do I really have to say it out loud?' Sara mouth open in a 'o' and Catherine take the opportunity to plug her tongue inside the brunette's mouth. Sara moans into the kiss. Catherine than forces her body above Sara's and in second they are both lying in the couch, hands touching each other.

Sara wake up after the most amazing sleep in ages and found her looking at a very bright room. She puts a hand over her eyes and signed. Adjusting the brown eyes she realizes that she is at Catherine's house, at the couch, with a blanket over her body. She looks down and sees her naked body.

"Shit!"

"I hope this has nothing to do with our last activities" said Catherine entering the room with a cup of coffee in hand.

"No. Of course not" Sara said blushing. Hiding her naked form, Sara sit at the couch and accept the cup of coffee. "Thanks. Guess my idea of waiting before the first date went down the river."

"Apparently we waited too much already"

"Yeah. Did it Lindsey…"

"No"

"Oh thank God! I would hate if she find out that we… well… in there and…"

"Don't worry sweetie. She knows about my feeling for you and she is fine with it. But thanks for caring about her"

"I care a lot, about both of you. Do you have any ideas where my clothes are? I'm kind of cold…"

"I hide them before she came to the living room so I'll be right back"

When Sara was perfectly dressed, she walked to the kitchen and found her lovers doing some pancakes. Sara closed her arms around Catherine and plant a kiss on the blond's neck.

"Something smells good. And I'm not talking just about the food" Catherine turns her head a little to kiss Sara. "Please say I'm not dreaming. That I'm actually here with you, hugging you, kissing you…" Catherine's hand goes behind the brunette's hair and she moans. "Wonderful!"

"Why don't you sit and eat before this get out of hand, hum?" Catherine said turning her body to Sara. "Will have time for this later"

"Hum, I don't know, I think I prefer you for breakfast over the pancakes" Catherine eyebrow goes up as she considers the idea. "What you think?"

"Tempting, but no" Catherine said letting go. Sara looks at her with hurt in the eyes "Hi sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" she asks looking at the door.

"Yes, I did" answered the little Willows. Sara couldnt help but laugh at her own stupidity.

"Good morning Lindsey…"

**The end**


End file.
